inbox; deerington

[danzan]

un: wolverine history t @ hs, lit prof @ college, volunteer @ S.T.R.A.N.G.E. living at 2008 howard hill, dunwich hollow more info + plots here ( TXT AUTO-REPLY ) This Fluid is in DO NOT DISTURB mode. If you would like your message to appear as a notification, send "URGENT". ( VOICEMAIL MSG ) "It's Logan. You know what to do."

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[vermillon]

[X'rhun leans against the table with his elbows, massaging his temples.]

Bloody kill me.

[He was ogling an old man's rear. A ridiculously old man's rear.]

And here I thought you were younger than myself, the way you act sometimes. [But it does... make some sense now that he thinks about it. Five wars, nearly two hundred years.]

[danzan]

Like you're the pinnacle of maturity.

[ Logan slips another tuna slice in his mouth, rolling his eyes. ]

[vermillon]

Oi, don't come into mine own house and be saying that sort of drivel. [Though his words have no real bite to them.]

Should I extol how good you look for your age instead?

[danzan]

[ Both his hands raise in defence. Logan shakes his head. ] No, no.

We're good. Thanks.

[vermillon]

[Well now, that seems to be a weakness of Logan's-- being complimented. X'rhun will make sure to remember that for later.]

That's about as much as I expected. [With that he snatches up a piece of tuna to shovel into his mouth-- with a fork, mind. And it goes down easily, X'rhun not bothering to chew.]

So.

[In true X'rhun fashion however, he's going to ruin the moment. Because this has been weighing heavily on his mind for a while.]

I believe I owe you an explanation about our last encounter...?

[danzan]

You mean when I ran around in your head?

[vermillon]

[X'rhun's sigh is strong enough that the strands of his mane hanging before his face are blown up and away from his eyes.]

In a manner of speaking. I don't remember every little detail, nor much of what I said or had done however.

'Twas like being part of a play, except not knowing your role in the grand scheme of things. But I do remember casting Flare. [And having his fill of Logan in the altogether. Clearly he remembers the important bits.]

[danzan]

I remember that too.

[ But Logan remembers everything in stark detail, so his situation's a lot different from X'rhun's already. He picks up another slice of fish, and finds himself slightly appalled that most of it's already gone. Did he really eat that much? ]

You want me to tell you what happened or something?

[vermillon]

No. [He plucks at the bandage on his cheek, a newly-formed habit of his.]

Rather... the other mages in red-- you saw them in such stark detail, did you not? [That's from what X'rhun remembers after all. The figures at war, both Ala Mhigan and Garlean, their faces were blurred, but the other Duelists... They were clear.

Or perhaps that was X'rhun's memory filling in the gaps.]

[danzan]

[ He frowns. It's impossible to stop himself from doing it. ]

...yeah.

[vermillon]

It's true-- Lambard did kill them. Though not in the way depicted-- an épée from a Fleche spell is not that large. They instead all died outside the city walls in our camp, in many different ways. Only I was spared, simply because I had been out on patrol at the time-- wartime and such.

[The plate of fish and peppers is empty now-- which is a good thing, because X'rhun's appetite has disappeared. Instead, he reaches for his glass and drains it. It's only when he pours more for himself that he speaks again.]

I was twenty years younger at the time, and he hadn't changed at all since then. [Does that explain why X'rhun looked the way he had? Perhaps. But as he mentioned, he doesn't even remember what he did or said except for the last few moments.]

[danzan]

[ Logan nods his head, understanding. Though he brings his glass up to take another drink of milk, he realises he hasn't got any left, and promptly puts it back down. ]

You were young in the dream, too. [ Then, like an afterthought-- ] Had a stronger accent. [ The smallest crinkles appear in the corners of his eyes at the memory of it, but what had happened over-all was still... terrible, in a lot of ways.

Logan decides not to mention how decrepit and broken X'rhun had looked physically. ]

[vermillon]

I was? I did?

[His ears twitch. This is... this is news to him.]

It's true I did not bother much with my words during wartime but... What in the seven hells? [He thinks it should be telling that he was a young man in his own mind, even if he doesn't exactly how how old. Though how, why and everything else... Those escape him.

How do you even begin to parse that?]

[danzan]

It was just a dream, X'rhun.

Lambard was your friend when you were younger. [ At least, that's what he was told by the version of X'rhun he'd met in his head. Logan rubs at the side of his neck with a palm. ] ...and you survived his shit when everyone else didn't when you were younger, too.

It's rooted in the past. Makes sense to see a past you.

[vermillon]

Could being absent at the moment of his betrayal truly be called surviving?

[Sometimes he still thinks he should have been there. Either to fend Lambard, because he really is the only person whom the Hyur could never defeat in a fair duel, or to die with the rest of them.

And X'rhun knocks back more of his scotch with the thought.]

... Could being dead be called surviving? [Because he really does think he is dead.]

[danzan]

As long as there's shit to go through, you're surviving. [ He's not going to think too hard about what Deerington is and where he is-- it's not something he'll get the answer to any time soon, so it's easier to keep it at the back of his mind. ]

Even if that shit's survivor's guilt.

[vermillon]

Mrr. Perhaps. [Suddenly he feels so tired, so old.]

But to die only to arrive here is utter shite, you know. [No, Logan didn't. But now he does.]

[danzan]

You believe in the afterlife?

[vermillon]

Every Eorzean does. Seven heavens and seven hells, and the god of the underworld decides your ultimate fate.

Mayhap whatever deity the church here worships is a concept... [Because he cant even see any idols.] But like the heavens and the hells, our deities are real.

[danzan]

[ Logan's biggest question is how do you know it's real, but he doesn't really have the time to delve into his deep-seated complications with God and the church. ] Does your scripture say the heavens or hells are like Deerington?

[vermillon]

There are no scriptures. Our structure of religion is not as stringent as you think.

[Namely because... there are so few official churches and temples. Everyone just knows.]

[danzan]

Fine, if you wanna argue semantics. [ Logan hates this. ] Jesus.

Is what you know similar to this place?

[vermillon]

Not at all, and that is vexing.

[Which makes X'rhun drink even more.]

[danzan]

[ So either everything you grew up knowing is false, or you're not dead.

...is what he wants to say, but Logan looks at the scotch X'rhun downs like water and resists the urge, instead. ]

Well. [ Picking up the now empty plate, Logan gets to his feet. ] Might be easier not thinkin' too hard about it.

[ Then he goes to wash it in the sink. ]

[vermillon]

Too late now.

[Because he's been thinking about it for months]

Not bloody much to do in my downtime. [Which is depressingly often, here.]