[ There is a slightly frantic edge to Jackson's tone that Logan's not sure how to deal with, not really. He knows what it means, at least as far as general feeling goes, but he's never been good at being delicate. At being careful with his words.
He receives a few moments' respite when the waitress serves their burgers up, in little plastic baskets with the fries off to the side. Logan considers picking it up, but then supposes... well, he's never had to sugarcoat much before, so why should he start? ]
It's quiet, death. If I die in pain, I wake up in pain until I realise it's all in my head -- like something left from when I was alive -- and it goes away.
Probably not the right guy to ask for this, though. [ Now he really does pick his burger up, unwrapping it with the softest crinkling sounds. ] 'cause every time I die, it never feels like it's time for me.
[ He cocks his head to the side. ] Sometimes it pisses me right off that there's something more I can't get to.
But whether that something more's some kind of afterlife or... just being able to rest after so much time being alive.
I can't answer that.
[ Logan takes his first bite, speaks with his mouth half-full of meat and bread and vegetables: ] Sorry, kid.
[He lets his words die a little as he looks at his food, biting his lower lip and worrying the skin as he tried not to put Logan's experiences on Theo. Like he said, it wasn't the same. He knew he was waking up so it was more like a forced and sometimes painful nap or something. It wasn't a real death.
A real death was final. There was no going back from that. Logan could, he got back up after every time.
What happened to Theo was different. It was final.]
You died a lot then, huh? [He's come this far, he has to ask. He knows Logan will be honest, perhaps brutally so, but in some ways it's comforting. It's not like he'd buy the lying anyway.] Did you ever drown?
[He looks up briefly before losing his nerve and tries to focus on food instead, pretending it's more interesting than it is.]
I read online that you have to breathe so you do but it's water so it's like you're being suffocated. This one guy I looked up said that the only thing more unpleasant than running out of air is breathing in water. [It doesn't sound great. his heart clenches at the idea but he pushes through it.] Some people blackout. I don't know. That sounds nice, I guess.
[ Torture in Japan had been the worst, Logan thinks. But apparently the brutal nature of it isn't enough to stop him from squirting some ketchup into the paper in the basket to dip his fries in, death so common to him it's as if he's speaking of something as casual as an exercise routine. ]
But there was a time, [ his brows furrow ] when I was anchored at the bottom of a river.
[ He almost continues, but a quick glance upward shows Logan that Jackson hasn't even touched his food. To catch his attention, he steals one of his fries, swabbing it in quite a bit of ketchup before popping it into his mouth. ]
You sure we should be talking about this over dinner?
[ It comes out a little gruff, but there's concern there. ]
[It's funny how sometimes you meet people who seem like they've done everything - explored the world, done all these extreme sports, seen all these cool things. And that is kind of what it's like with Logan. Only with death. He's died so many ways and he's only just started talking about this.
Part of him wonders how a guy who dies that often, that painfully, even wants to live.
... But then, how could he die?
Shit. That's messed up.]
When is the best time to talk about death? [Jackson does reach for his food, his pushing through all those negative emotions to try and find something else to focus on. Maybe he'd get his answers later. Maybe.] Cause everyone says that to me a lot and it's just like -- is there ever a good time to talk about this stuff?
A good time is when it doesn't distract you from dinner.
[ Logan rolls his eyes. Death is so common to him it might as well be normal, but the sight of Jackson forgetting the rest of the world to talk about it can't be good.
There're personal feelings there. And Logan doesn't think that bad (or unlikely), but wants to at least keep it as marginally healthy as he can manage. ]
I can talk about it any time, but that burger won't be hot forever.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jackson bABY
He receives a few moments' respite when the waitress serves their burgers up, in little plastic baskets with the fries off to the side. Logan considers picking it up, but then supposes... well, he's never had to sugarcoat much before, so why should he start? ]
It's quiet, death. If I die in pain, I wake up in pain until I realise it's all in my head -- like something left from when I was alive -- and it goes away.
Probably not the right guy to ask for this, though. [ Now he really does pick his burger up, unwrapping it with the softest crinkling sounds. ] 'cause every time I die, it never feels like it's time for me.
[ He cocks his head to the side. ] Sometimes it pisses me right off that there's something more I can't get to.
But whether that something more's some kind of afterlife or... just being able to rest after so much time being alive.
I can't answer that.
[ Logan takes his first bite, speaks with his mouth half-full of meat and bread and vegetables: ] Sorry, kid.
enjoy the uncomfortable questions!
[He lets his words die a little as he looks at his food, biting his lower lip and worrying the skin as he tried not to put Logan's experiences on Theo. Like he said, it wasn't the same. He knew he was waking up so it was more like a forced and sometimes painful nap or something. It wasn't a real death.
A real death was final. There was no going back from that. Logan could, he got back up after every time.
What happened to Theo was different. It was final.]
You died a lot then, huh? [He's come this far, he has to ask. He knows Logan will be honest, perhaps brutally so, but in some ways it's comforting. It's not like he'd buy the lying anyway.] Did you ever drown?
[He looks up briefly before losing his nerve and tries to focus on food instead, pretending it's more interesting than it is.]
I read online that you have to breathe so you do but it's water so it's like you're being suffocated. This one guy I looked up said that the only thing more unpleasant than running out of air is breathing in water. [It doesn't sound great. his heart clenches at the idea but he pushes through it.] Some people blackout. I don't know. That sounds nice, I guess.
no subject
[ Torture in Japan had been the worst, Logan thinks. But apparently the brutal nature of it isn't enough to stop him from squirting some ketchup into the paper in the basket to dip his fries in, death so common to him it's as if he's speaking of something as casual as an exercise routine. ]
But there was a time, [ his brows furrow ] when I was anchored at the bottom of a river.
[ He almost continues, but a quick glance upward shows Logan that Jackson hasn't even touched his food. To catch his attention, he steals one of his fries, swabbing it in quite a bit of ketchup before popping it into his mouth. ]
You sure we should be talking about this over dinner?
[ It comes out a little gruff, but there's concern there. ]
no subject
[It's funny how sometimes you meet people who seem like they've done everything - explored the world, done all these extreme sports, seen all these cool things. And that is kind of what it's like with Logan. Only with death. He's died so many ways and he's only just started talking about this.
Part of him wonders how a guy who dies that often, that painfully, even wants to live.
... But then, how could he die?
Shit. That's messed up.]
When is the best time to talk about death? [Jackson does reach for his food, his pushing through all those negative emotions to try and find something else to focus on. Maybe he'd get his answers later. Maybe.] Cause everyone says that to me a lot and it's just like -- is there ever a good time to talk about this stuff?
no subject
[ Logan rolls his eyes. Death is so common to him it might as well be normal, but the sight of Jackson forgetting the rest of the world to talk about it can't be good.
There're personal feelings there. And Logan doesn't think that bad (or unlikely), but wants to at least keep it as marginally healthy as he can manage. ]
I can talk about it any time, but that burger won't be hot forever.