I'd scold you for not coming to me when you needed help, but... [ A soft snort communicates his acknowledgment of the hypocrisy inherent in that scenario. ] I'm not exactly the poster child for reaching out, myself.
[ If he'd been better at letting people in on his troubles, better at admitting even to himself that he couldn't handle it all alone, maybe he wouldn't have wound up getting buried under a building. But then if that hadn't happened, maybe Logan wouldn't be sitting pressed against his side right now.
"So are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." If this was the path Matt had to walk down in order to be where he is at this moment, then he won't question the Lord's mysteries. ]
Maybe I can, uh...head up there and visit you sometime. Only seems fair.
[ Assuming he'd be welcome, and Matt practically holds his breath while waiting for the reaction. It's very possible Logan isn't interested in combining these two disparate parts of his life. Matt is mostly his past, after all. This school, these special children, they're his present. ]
[ The suggestion is a far cry from the boy that Logan knew to be stubborn enough he'd never leave Hell's Kitchen. It's enough to get him to turn his head a bit, looking down at Matt with furrowed brows as if he's not sure this is the real him.
But time brings change. It's done so for Logan, and it's unmistakably done so for Matt, as if the red suit and the new moniker doesn't make that obvious enough on its own.
It's still surprising to hear. Logan's smiling, and he knows Matt can't see it, so he brings their joined hands up and gently touches his nose to one of Matt's knuckles and lets out the gentlest huff of breath from his nostrils. ]
Surprise me.
[ But he has to add, lowering their joined hands, ] Only after 5 p.m. on weekdays, though. Office hours.
[ It's still surreal to think he has office hours. Not quite as surreal as imagining Matt visiting, though, and Logan almost wants to laugh at it. ]
[ Matt still isn't excited by the idea of leaving his beloved neighborhood. But coming so close to death can change a man, and he owes Logan so much, least of all the time he's put into helping Matt recover. He didn't have to stay, didn't have to put his own life on hold for this. But he did, and no one has ever done that for Matt before.
The sensation of Logan's breath on his skin makes him a little weak inside, and he has to take a couple slow breaths to keep from tearing up because it seems like everything makes him want to cry these days. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he focuses on the image of James Howlett standing in front of a class, holding forth on whatever subject he's decided is the most important.
It's not that hard to imagine. He'd been so good with the kids at St. Agnes. ]
If I come all the way up there to visit, I want to sit in on a class. None of this office hours nonsense.
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[ If he'd been better at letting people in on his troubles, better at admitting even to himself that he couldn't handle it all alone, maybe he wouldn't have wound up getting buried under a building. But then if that hadn't happened, maybe Logan wouldn't be sitting pressed against his side right now.
"So are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." If this was the path Matt had to walk down in order to be where he is at this moment, then he won't question the Lord's mysteries. ]
Maybe I can, uh...head up there and visit you sometime. Only seems fair.
[ Assuming he'd be welcome, and Matt practically holds his breath while waiting for the reaction. It's very possible Logan isn't interested in combining these two disparate parts of his life. Matt is mostly his past, after all. This school, these special children, they're his present. ]
no subject
But time brings change. It's done so for Logan, and it's unmistakably done so for Matt, as if the red suit and the new moniker doesn't make that obvious enough on its own.
It's still surprising to hear. Logan's smiling, and he knows Matt can't see it, so he brings their joined hands up and gently touches his nose to one of Matt's knuckles and lets out the gentlest huff of breath from his nostrils. ]
Surprise me.
[ But he has to add, lowering their joined hands, ] Only after 5 p.m. on weekdays, though. Office hours.
[ It's still surreal to think he has office hours. Not quite as surreal as imagining Matt visiting, though, and Logan almost wants to laugh at it. ]
no subject
The sensation of Logan's breath on his skin makes him a little weak inside, and he has to take a couple slow breaths to keep from tearing up because it seems like everything makes him want to cry these days. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he focuses on the image of James Howlett standing in front of a class, holding forth on whatever subject he's decided is the most important.
It's not that hard to imagine. He'd been so good with the kids at St. Agnes. ]
If I come all the way up there to visit, I want to sit in on a class. None of this office hours nonsense.