I guess it's hard to tell you're metal from a distance. Airport security is a nightmare for you, huh?
[Yes, that is where his mind went. He had so many questions but, for now, he kept them to himself. Most of them were like 'what happens around big magnets' and 'can you break a bone' but they seem like things that have to be more naturally slipped into conversation.
His intentions are good, it's just hard not to ask stupid things. It's not ever day he gets to hang with a guy who has a metal skeleton. It's kind of cool.]
If the blades come out from your body and through your skin, wouldn't it just slice the skin right open? [He leans forward and checks the hand. There's not even a mark right now.] Shouldn't you have like four little cut marks all the time?
I heal. [ A claw juts out half an inch forward -- the one between his index and middle finger -- and then sinks back into his flesh. The cut closes up almost immediately after it disappears. ] Like that.
[ Logan's stopped being irritated by little questions, fortunately. It happens when you've been teaching at a school for a while, especially since history is the sort of thing taught to even the littlest kids who tend to ask everything.
He's answered these things almost a hundred times over, probably. ]
And there're three blades, each hand. [ He snorts. ] Airports let you opt outta the old-school metal detectors, though, with the new high-tech machines. Dunno what they do, but at least they don't fucking beep at me for walking.
[That must be pretty cool. Especially for a guy who played hero, being pretty much that strong and a quick healer? Logan must have been untouchable. Unable to help himself, Jackson grins a little and leans in closer.]
When you say you can heal from anything, are we talking like limbs can grow back? Cause I know some lizard's can regrow their tails and stuff. Is it like that?
[It has to be weird to have claws like that available all the time. It's kind of like being a walking weapon. He can't imagine having that much strength all the time.]
I bet your enemies are so screwed when they wanna mess with you, right? You're like a-a tank or something.
[ To Logan, the lines between human, animal, and weapon blur all the time. And for so long it'd only been the latter two sides of him that mattered. He huffs a laugh at the thought of being a tank, remembers nearly being run over one in the Great War, but inevitably shakes his head. ]
People can stop me, kid. [ He reaches up, tapping at his temple. ] Head injuries take a while to come back from.
[ Imagine being shot in the head and losing consciousness for three whole minutes. Imagine having your skull re-shape itself after having it bashed in, and then having to feel around your head to be sure it's properly head-shaped. ]
Sure, I always come back. And yeah, my limbs grow back. But in war -- [ he stops himself there, backtracking and changing the term ] -- in battles, every second counts.
I've died and woken up to carnage more times than I can count.
[That's almost surreal. He feels a strange clawing feeling inside of him, almost anxious to know more but afraid of what answers he'd get. It's a little uneasy to consider that someone could die, perhaps even have the awareness of dying and come back from it. He wasn't sure if that was a gift or a curse but he sure as hell wished in that moment that Theo had been a mutant who could survive even a bullet to the head.
Maybe then he could survive a drowning.
Maybe then Jackson wouldn't be alone any more, things wouldn't have changed and he wouldn't have had to bury him.]
What does death feel like? [He's wondered about that a lot lately.] Do you know-- did you see anything? Like afterwards.
[ There is a slightly frantic edge to Jackson's tone that Logan's not sure how to deal with, not really. He knows what it means, at least as far as general feeling goes, but he's never been good at being delicate. At being careful with his words.
He receives a few moments' respite when the waitress serves their burgers up, in little plastic baskets with the fries off to the side. Logan considers picking it up, but then supposes... well, he's never had to sugarcoat much before, so why should he start? ]
It's quiet, death. If I die in pain, I wake up in pain until I realise it's all in my head -- like something left from when I was alive -- and it goes away.
Probably not the right guy to ask for this, though. [ Now he really does pick his burger up, unwrapping it with the softest crinkling sounds. ] 'cause every time I die, it never feels like it's time for me.
[ He cocks his head to the side. ] Sometimes it pisses me right off that there's something more I can't get to.
But whether that something more's some kind of afterlife or... just being able to rest after so much time being alive.
I can't answer that.
[ Logan takes his first bite, speaks with his mouth half-full of meat and bread and vegetables: ] Sorry, kid.
[He lets his words die a little as he looks at his food, biting his lower lip and worrying the skin as he tried not to put Logan's experiences on Theo. Like he said, it wasn't the same. He knew he was waking up so it was more like a forced and sometimes painful nap or something. It wasn't a real death.
A real death was final. There was no going back from that. Logan could, he got back up after every time.
What happened to Theo was different. It was final.]
You died a lot then, huh? [He's come this far, he has to ask. He knows Logan will be honest, perhaps brutally so, but in some ways it's comforting. It's not like he'd buy the lying anyway.] Did you ever drown?
[He looks up briefly before losing his nerve and tries to focus on food instead, pretending it's more interesting than it is.]
I read online that you have to breathe so you do but it's water so it's like you're being suffocated. This one guy I looked up said that the only thing more unpleasant than running out of air is breathing in water. [It doesn't sound great. his heart clenches at the idea but he pushes through it.] Some people blackout. I don't know. That sounds nice, I guess.
[ Torture in Japan had been the worst, Logan thinks. But apparently the brutal nature of it isn't enough to stop him from squirting some ketchup into the paper in the basket to dip his fries in, death so common to him it's as if he's speaking of something as casual as an exercise routine. ]
But there was a time, [ his brows furrow ] when I was anchored at the bottom of a river.
[ He almost continues, but a quick glance upward shows Logan that Jackson hasn't even touched his food. To catch his attention, he steals one of his fries, swabbing it in quite a bit of ketchup before popping it into his mouth. ]
You sure we should be talking about this over dinner?
[ It comes out a little gruff, but there's concern there. ]
[It's funny how sometimes you meet people who seem like they've done everything - explored the world, done all these extreme sports, seen all these cool things. And that is kind of what it's like with Logan. Only with death. He's died so many ways and he's only just started talking about this.
Part of him wonders how a guy who dies that often, that painfully, even wants to live.
... But then, how could he die?
Shit. That's messed up.]
When is the best time to talk about death? [Jackson does reach for his food, his pushing through all those negative emotions to try and find something else to focus on. Maybe he'd get his answers later. Maybe.] Cause everyone says that to me a lot and it's just like -- is there ever a good time to talk about this stuff?
A good time is when it doesn't distract you from dinner.
[ Logan rolls his eyes. Death is so common to him it might as well be normal, but the sight of Jackson forgetting the rest of the world to talk about it can't be good.
There're personal feelings there. And Logan doesn't think that bad (or unlikely), but wants to at least keep it as marginally healthy as he can manage. ]
I can talk about it any time, but that burger won't be hot forever.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[Yes, that is where his mind went. He had so many questions but, for now, he kept them to himself. Most of them were like 'what happens around big magnets' and 'can you break a bone' but they seem like things that have to be more naturally slipped into conversation.
His intentions are good, it's just hard not to ask stupid things. It's not ever day he gets to hang with a guy who has a metal skeleton. It's kind of cool.]
If the blades come out from your body and through your skin, wouldn't it just slice the skin right open? [He leans forward and checks the hand. There's not even a mark right now.] Shouldn't you have like four little cut marks all the time?
no subject
[ Logan's stopped being irritated by little questions, fortunately. It happens when you've been teaching at a school for a while, especially since history is the sort of thing taught to even the littlest kids who tend to ask everything.
He's answered these things almost a hundred times over, probably. ]
And there're three blades, each hand. [ He snorts. ] Airports let you opt outta the old-school metal detectors, though, with the new high-tech machines. Dunno what they do, but at least they don't fucking beep at me for walking.
no subject
[That must be pretty cool. Especially for a guy who played hero, being pretty much that strong and a quick healer? Logan must have been untouchable. Unable to help himself, Jackson grins a little and leans in closer.]
When you say you can heal from anything, are we talking like limbs can grow back? Cause I know some lizard's can regrow their tails and stuff. Is it like that?
[It has to be weird to have claws like that available all the time. It's kind of like being a walking weapon. He can't imagine having that much strength all the time.]
I bet your enemies are so screwed when they wanna mess with you, right? You're like a-a tank or something.
no subject
People can stop me, kid. [ He reaches up, tapping at his temple. ] Head injuries take a while to come back from.
[ Imagine being shot in the head and losing consciousness for three whole minutes. Imagine having your skull re-shape itself after having it bashed in, and then having to feel around your head to be sure it's properly head-shaped. ]
Sure, I always come back. And yeah, my limbs grow back. But in war -- [ he stops himself there, backtracking and changing the term ] -- in battles, every second counts.
I've died and woken up to carnage more times than I can count.
Ain't ever a pretty sight.
no subject
[That's almost surreal. He feels a strange clawing feeling inside of him, almost anxious to know more but afraid of what answers he'd get. It's a little uneasy to consider that someone could die, perhaps even have the awareness of dying and come back from it. He wasn't sure if that was a gift or a curse but he sure as hell wished in that moment that Theo had been a mutant who could survive even a bullet to the head.
Maybe then he could survive a drowning.
Maybe then Jackson wouldn't be alone any more, things wouldn't have changed and he wouldn't have had to bury him.]
What does death feel like? [He's wondered about that a lot lately.] Do you know-- did you see anything? Like afterwards.
jackson bABY
He receives a few moments' respite when the waitress serves their burgers up, in little plastic baskets with the fries off to the side. Logan considers picking it up, but then supposes... well, he's never had to sugarcoat much before, so why should he start? ]
It's quiet, death. If I die in pain, I wake up in pain until I realise it's all in my head -- like something left from when I was alive -- and it goes away.
Probably not the right guy to ask for this, though. [ Now he really does pick his burger up, unwrapping it with the softest crinkling sounds. ] 'cause every time I die, it never feels like it's time for me.
[ He cocks his head to the side. ] Sometimes it pisses me right off that there's something more I can't get to.
But whether that something more's some kind of afterlife or... just being able to rest after so much time being alive.
I can't answer that.
[ Logan takes his first bite, speaks with his mouth half-full of meat and bread and vegetables: ] Sorry, kid.
enjoy the uncomfortable questions!
[He lets his words die a little as he looks at his food, biting his lower lip and worrying the skin as he tried not to put Logan's experiences on Theo. Like he said, it wasn't the same. He knew he was waking up so it was more like a forced and sometimes painful nap or something. It wasn't a real death.
A real death was final. There was no going back from that. Logan could, he got back up after every time.
What happened to Theo was different. It was final.]
You died a lot then, huh? [He's come this far, he has to ask. He knows Logan will be honest, perhaps brutally so, but in some ways it's comforting. It's not like he'd buy the lying anyway.] Did you ever drown?
[He looks up briefly before losing his nerve and tries to focus on food instead, pretending it's more interesting than it is.]
I read online that you have to breathe so you do but it's water so it's like you're being suffocated. This one guy I looked up said that the only thing more unpleasant than running out of air is breathing in water. [It doesn't sound great. his heart clenches at the idea but he pushes through it.] Some people blackout. I don't know. That sounds nice, I guess.
no subject
[ Torture in Japan had been the worst, Logan thinks. But apparently the brutal nature of it isn't enough to stop him from squirting some ketchup into the paper in the basket to dip his fries in, death so common to him it's as if he's speaking of something as casual as an exercise routine. ]
But there was a time, [ his brows furrow ] when I was anchored at the bottom of a river.
[ He almost continues, but a quick glance upward shows Logan that Jackson hasn't even touched his food. To catch his attention, he steals one of his fries, swabbing it in quite a bit of ketchup before popping it into his mouth. ]
You sure we should be talking about this over dinner?
[ It comes out a little gruff, but there's concern there. ]
no subject
[It's funny how sometimes you meet people who seem like they've done everything - explored the world, done all these extreme sports, seen all these cool things. And that is kind of what it's like with Logan. Only with death. He's died so many ways and he's only just started talking about this.
Part of him wonders how a guy who dies that often, that painfully, even wants to live.
... But then, how could he die?
Shit. That's messed up.]
When is the best time to talk about death? [Jackson does reach for his food, his pushing through all those negative emotions to try and find something else to focus on. Maybe he'd get his answers later. Maybe.] Cause everyone says that to me a lot and it's just like -- is there ever a good time to talk about this stuff?
no subject
[ Logan rolls his eyes. Death is so common to him it might as well be normal, but the sight of Jackson forgetting the rest of the world to talk about it can't be good.
There're personal feelings there. And Logan doesn't think that bad (or unlikely), but wants to at least keep it as marginally healthy as he can manage. ]
I can talk about it any time, but that burger won't be hot forever.