The thought had immediately crossed his mind the moment that Logan kissed him, but as quickly as it had come, Steve had dismissed it. He has been tempted to do the same for so damn long, although he has been repressing the thoughts as best as he could, but now that the moment has come... No, Steve couldn’t stop. He couldn’t pull away. He had just grabbed him, kissed him with the same ferocity the second that the surprise had disappeared, and it has all been a whirlwind since.
As things begin to settle, Steve is trying to catch his breath as Logan seems to fully realize what they had done. It squishes whatever urge he had to pull Logan forward again, to kiss him because suddenly his lips ache as if he’s missing him already, and he has to remind himself to not make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Not if Logan wants to just pretend it never happened.
When he falls back on the bed, Steve turns his head to look at him. Considering the lack of clothing, it’s hard to hide the scars along the left side of his abdomen, where the shrapnel had pierced through him during the attack, as well as the scars around his left knee and along his leg. Because, while out in appearances and meetings he’s able to hide the remnants from that day, under his clothes it’s a whole different story. That ‘perfection’ the army boasts about is just polished left overs from the war. ]
I think it can wait a few minutes, you don’t have to get up yet.
Yeah? [ Looking at Steve makes his face warm, but Logan pushes that sense of shyness down as far back as it'll go. The truth is that he likes it -- the tingle in his lower back and in his legs, the exhaustion in his muscles, the memory of Steve's hands and lips on his skin, the way Steve had sounded. He'd liked it all and he likes it now, but instead of conveying such a bombshell of a truth, he turns his head away again and lets out a 'hah' instead. ]
Just don't want anyone finding our sex tape.
[ He tries to sound casual as he says it, but the way his hands meet on his belly to fiddle with his fingers is a nervous habit he's carried since childhood. In his mind he can hear Jean scolding him already -- that sleeping with Steve Rogers means he's now too personally invested to be working on this assignment -- and... God, since when has he been personally invested?
Because jealousy over Steve's ex-girlfriend isn't something that appears overnight. ]
"Our sex tape". [ A laugh. ] Jesus. [ He shuts his eyes, swallows, then meets Steve's gaze again, his fingers still twiddling away where they rest atop his body. ] You okay with that? The sex part.
I didn't, uh... didn't know I'd... thought I had better self control.
[ There's a moment that, as much as Steve doesn't want to make it obvious that he's staring, he can't help it. There has been something about Logan that has been drawing him in, in a way that he had never actually expected, and to see him now, up close... He can't help but watch as he talks.
Especially when he does that thing with his hands, and a soft smile crosses Steve's lips at the sight. Maybe Steve himself should be worried about this - not only is it unprofessional from his part, but the part of him that has been 'trained' in protecting his public figure is already nagging him for doing all this. What if this gets out? What if...
Logan asks if he's okay with 'the sex part,' though, and those questions are immediately ignored. After Steve cleans up his stomach, he rolls onto his side so he can face him better and, rather than answering at first, he leans close so that he can kiss him. ]
I'm definitely not complaining.
[ He pauses for a moment before reaching for Logan's hand. ] How about you, are you okay with all this?
[ God, it's nice to be close. Logan takes the kiss, feels his eyes shut in the wake of it, and then opens them again when Steve talks to him next, brows twitching slightly at the question of his well-being.
Is he okay with all this -- how can he not be, when Steve looks at him like that? Warm blue eyes, an even warmer grasp; it's not like he's unused to the whole holding hands thing, but this is the first time they've held hands in private, and apparently that makes all the difference. ]
I'm... [ Embarrassed? Shy? Nervous? Logan's job is to write and he's falling short, but he ends up with: ] ...okay.
Yeah. [ He clears his throat, looking down at their hands, and when he sees them he catches the scars on Steve's body out of the corner of his eye -- scars he'd not taken the time to notice besides fleeting touches as he took the man's clothes off. ]
I feel tingly. [ He looks up again, tongue wetting his lips. ] But I guess that just comes with it, huh.
[ It feels like a knot in his stomach loosens at the answer, because he had been trying to prepare to Logan wanting this to be a one time thing. Steve doesn’t know exactly when he started falling for Logan, but...here he is. Peggy was the last person he allowed this close, and after their break up it had just been easier to focus on working. Not letting anyone in like this. Not let anyone this close to even see the scars he ended up with after the attack. Steve’s life didn’t allow for a relationship, anyway, considering how busy he always is, so it was easy to use that as a shield and an excuse all at once.
But now here he is, mesmerized by the way that Logan looks. The way he moves. The way that he can still feel him, and Steve feels so happy that his heart could burst. ]
Yeah, I think so.
[ Without letting go of his hand, he leans in again for another kiss. This time it’s slow, intimate. As if he’s savoring how he tastes. ]
Think we can cancel today’s interview and we can just stay in bed the rest of the evening?
[ Oh, fucking hell. Who taught Steve to kiss like this? Logan shivers, takes it -- and then returns it, his hand skirting over a scar and then nudging higher up his chest.
It's hands down the sappiest thing he's ever done with another man.
When the kiss breaks he's breathless, but the smile on his face is unmistakable. This means... something, doesn't it? Kissing Steve, being with Steve, smiling at Steve -- this all means something, and Logan's biting off more than he can chew.
But instead of denying him, or telling him no, or doing what is the logically accepted thing in this situation, Logan just makes a face and admits: ] This is gonna be the first deadline I've ever missed.
[ He's not too broken up about it, though, given he's finally initiating a kiss of his own. Steve's face is warm against his palm and his lips are soft over his, and Logan needs to calm his god damn Liberace ass before he asks Steve to sleep with him again.
Pulling away, he allows a stroke with his thumb over Steve's cheek. ]
[ It’s impossible to hide the way that Steve’s breath hitches a little as he feels Logan’s fingers brush against the scars on his side. Not because it hurts, and he doesn’t pull away, it’s just that the spot is more sensitive to the touch than the rest of his body. And... this is the first time since Peggy that he has felt a touch like that on a spot that he considers a weakness. Something that some part of him always wants to hide. He’s not vain, but considering how the shrapnel left his skin looking almost mangled, he has always figured that it’d look disgusting. Why subject anyone to it?
But Logan is there, and even if the touch might have been accidental, Logan doesn’t stop kissing him. He’s not disgusted by what he sees. He’s still here, and Steve is almost in disbelief over it. ]
Blame me for it, if you want. We can schedule another interview.
[ By the look on his face, it’s obvious that an interview is not what he has in mind for their next meeting. He smiles at the way his thumb brushes against his skin, and Steve pulls him close. ]
Yeah? I think I can manage that. [ He dips his head to press a kiss against his neck. ] Where do you need me to carry you to first?
You know, you're gonna make my body start to think "interview" means something else. [ But man, Steve is so gorgeous when he smiles. Logan doesn't know what to do with it, nor does he know what to do with the kiss pressed so tenderly to his skin.
It makes his heart skip a beat, fingers curling lightly over Steve's chest as he noses quietly at the blond hair on his temple. ] ...mm.
I was thinkin' we should get cleaned up, actually.
[ Steve lets out a chuckle at that, his smile tilting slightly into a mischievous sort of smirk. Being this close, this intimate, it’s like opening a new side to Steve. One that smiles easier, and looks considerably happier than he has looked in years. Mainly because this is real, and it’s theirs, and Steve is just so damn happy right now. ]
Oh yeah? [ He presses another kiss against his skin, this time by his jaw. ] So I should stop doing this, huh?
You -- [ Steve's breath is warm on his skin. Logan shivers. ] Yup. Yeah. You should totally...
[ Except when he turns his head and finds Steve's mouth Logan doesn't find the right amount of control to pull away. He didn't earlier, when he was bothered about Peggy and wanted to make Steve want him more than he'd ever wanted her (petty, petty, petty), and he doesn't now, when he's still riding some incredible post-sex waves and Steve is smiling at him like that, holy shit (horny, horny, horny?).
It's too easy to pull Steve on top of him and mutter something stupid about how high-quality lube means Steve won't even have to prep him again, and the repeat performance that follows after is even easier. It's shorter, understandably, because they're both still sensitive from earlier, and the fact that none of them have an extra condom means Steve makes a mess of Logan's belly, but -- God, it's good.
By the end of it Logan is gasping for breath with his head pressed back to the pillow, his hips sinking lazily once his legs slip from where they'd wrapped around Steve's waist. Instead of rolling on his side again, however, he reaches up, one hand for the back of Steve's head to pull him down on top of him.
It makes the mess even messier. Logan revels in this, and kisses Steve on the lips. ] Why are you so good at this.
[ The way Logan shivers is something that Steve is quick to notice, and he takes it as an invitation to keep going. If anything, he wants to draw more shivers out of him. He wants this sensation that he feels taking over last as long as possible, and that’s why he has no objection to the way that Logan kisses him.
If anything, the way Steve kisses him is hungrily, as if desperate to feel him close again. It’s probably giving away how much he has been wanting this, but he can’t be bothered to care. He’s too focused on Logan, on how it feels to be inside of him, on the way his body feels against his, and everything else feels like details he can’t be bothered to think about.
As Logan sinks back into bed, Steve tries to catch his breath. But then there’s Logan, bringing him forward, and Steve lets out a quiet laugh as he lands on top of him. He uses his forearms to support his upper body, mainly because he doesn’t want to rest his whole weight on him, but it’s fine. He’s loving this.
At his question, he blinks in surprise. ]
You think I’m good at this? [ It’s not modesty, either. Steve is legitimately surprised by what Logan said. ] I’ve always thought I’m... well. Not the best.
Maybe that's why you're so good. [ There's another kiss there, and Logan sets his hand on Steve's side to hold him there whilst the other finds the curve of his cheek once more. His palm rests over the softer, textured skin of Steve's scars, but he's clearly not too bothered, if he even notices it at all. ]
Always the eager ones.
[ Not like Logan really has a boatload of experience, but college had been en eye-opening experience in his freshman year.
His thumb rubs circles into Steve's side, and the hand on his cheek gently strokes over the corner of his brow with the tip of his index finger. ]
[ The admittance is said with a small smile, looking almost sheepish. He tries to hide it by leaning down to press a kiss against his shoulder, but it doesn’t change the way the back of his neck feels warmer all of a sudden. Especially when he turns to Logan and he speaks again, his voice a little softer. ]
I don’t get to do this a lot. The quiet moments, the...being with someone like this. I can’t ‘let in’ the wrong person, because of what I do, and everything else that comes with it.
[ Hell, just letting Logan rest a hand on his side is a huge thing for him. Because it’d be safer to pull away, or look for his shirt - or just stopping it altogether before it all began - but here they are. ]
I’m not trying to freak you out, and I don’t expect a commitment of any kind, so don’t think that’s where I’m going with this. But...you’re special to me. I trust you. [ A small smile crosses his lips. ] You got under my skin before I could realize what was happening.
[ I'm a reporter, it's what I do hangs on his tongue, but even while he thinks it Logan knows that isn't true. From the beginning he hasn't been a hundred percent professional -- whether it was the distaste he felt for what Steve stood for in American culture or the way he kept complaining about his assignment with the man behind his back -- and so instead he manages a smile of his own before teasingly shoving at his face with his palm. ]
You know, it ain't your job to be poetic. [ But he likes it, and he likes this, and it's nice to know Steve isn't thinking about it being a long-term solution in that relief-through-non-obligation sense. Logan's not going to think about what his other senses feel about it. He especially doesn't think about the part of him that's still jealous of Peggy Carter, deep down. ]
...but I get it.
[ The hand on Steve's side moves, slipping onto his back so Logan can wrap an arm around him and kiss the side of his head. ]
Feels nice to be close to people. [ Another kiss. ] But we are dating. [ Fake dating, but who's counting? ]
We just skipped a couple stages past hand-holding.
[ Steve chuckles softly under his breath at the way he shoves his face. Feeling his hand move from his side makes him feel oddly cold, as if somehow he has been getting used to the warmth of his touch there, and he smiles at what he says. ]
It’s nice to be close to you.
[ Steve has tried to be close to people. Half the time it doesn’t really work. That’s another reason why this feels so perfect, and he moves so he can rest his head against Logan’s shoulder. ]
Mm, I’m not complaining. [ He closes his eyes for a moment, not because he wants to sleep necessarily, but he’s just...happy. It’s nice to feel that again. ]
You’re pretty good, you know. [ Steve doesn’t look up, but the soft teasing tone is easy to distinguish. ] For a fake boyfriend and all.
[ It's hard not to laugh at the compliment, but it's even harder not to feel pleased by it. Steve's head is heavy enough against Logan's shoulder that he doesn't have to question whether it's real or not, and he slings an arm around his middle as he touches the tip of his nose to the top of his head.
He'd kiss it, but... somehow that feels more intimate than even the sex had been. ]
Guess being a boyfriend's like riding a bike. [ His arm tightens almost protectively around Steve's waist, and his fingers curl in to keep his hold steady. ]
I know I'm at least good at riding you.
[ Oh, the grin on his face is probably horrible. ]
[ He likes this. It's impossible to not get comfortable when he can feel how warm Logan is, how reassured he is just by feeling his arm around his waist, and god. As much as Steve had wanted this moment to happen, he could have never expected it to feel like this.
A small chuckle rumbles out of his throat, shifting slightly so that he could press a kiss against Logan's chest. ]
Yeah, you are very good at that.
[ He presses another kiss against his chest, this time lingering for a moment. ]
[ There's a soft laugh before Logan can stop himself from doing it, the pressure of Steve's fingers surprising enough to tickle. He presses his lips together tight to suppress the sound before he laughs more, then looks away with a small clear of his throat. ]
Think that's the game changer, actually. [ It's hard to sound nonchalant. ]
[ It’s impossible to hide the warm grin that spreads on his lips. Not only when he laughs, but also when he agrees to stay.
Shifting his position so he can lean in closer, he kisses his lips before moving back so he can rest his head against Logan’s chest again. He’d argue all day long that no, he isn’t cuddling, but...he’s just comfortable.
Yes, he’s just staying here like this because he’s comfortable. ]
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no subject
The thought had immediately crossed his mind the moment that Logan kissed him, but as quickly as it had come, Steve had dismissed it. He has been tempted to do the same for so damn long, although he has been repressing the thoughts as best as he could, but now that the moment has come... No, Steve couldn’t stop. He couldn’t pull away. He had just grabbed him, kissed him with the same ferocity the second that the surprise had disappeared, and it has all been a whirlwind since.
As things begin to settle, Steve is trying to catch his breath as Logan seems to fully realize what they had done. It squishes whatever urge he had to pull Logan forward again, to kiss him because suddenly his lips ache as if he’s missing him already, and he has to remind himself to not make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Not if Logan wants to just pretend it never happened.
When he falls back on the bed, Steve turns his head to look at him. Considering the lack of clothing, it’s hard to hide the scars along the left side of his abdomen, where the shrapnel had pierced through him during the attack, as well as the scars around his left knee and along his leg. Because, while out in appearances and meetings he’s able to hide the remnants from that day, under his clothes it’s a whole different story. That ‘perfection’ the army boasts about is just polished left overs from the war. ]
I think it can wait a few minutes, you don’t have to get up yet.
no subject
Just don't want anyone finding our sex tape.
[ He tries to sound casual as he says it, but the way his hands meet on his belly to fiddle with his fingers is a nervous habit he's carried since childhood. In his mind he can hear Jean scolding him already -- that sleeping with Steve Rogers means he's now too personally invested to be working on this assignment -- and... God, since when has he been personally invested?
Because jealousy over Steve's ex-girlfriend isn't something that appears overnight. ]
"Our sex tape". [ A laugh. ] Jesus. [ He shuts his eyes, swallows, then meets Steve's gaze again, his fingers still twiddling away where they rest atop his body. ] You okay with that? The sex part.
I didn't, uh... didn't know I'd... thought I had better self control.
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Especially when he does that thing with his hands, and a soft smile crosses Steve's lips at the sight. Maybe Steve himself should be worried about this - not only is it unprofessional from his part, but the part of him that has been 'trained' in protecting his public figure is already nagging him for doing all this. What if this gets out? What if...
Logan asks if he's okay with 'the sex part,' though, and those questions are immediately ignored. After Steve cleans up his stomach, he rolls onto his side so he can face him better and, rather than answering at first, he leans close so that he can kiss him. ]
I'm definitely not complaining.
[ He pauses for a moment before reaching for Logan's hand. ] How about you, are you okay with all this?
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Is he okay with all this -- how can he not be, when Steve looks at him like that? Warm blue eyes, an even warmer grasp; it's not like he's unused to the whole holding hands thing, but this is the first time they've held hands in private, and apparently that makes all the difference. ]
I'm... [ Embarrassed? Shy? Nervous? Logan's job is to write and he's falling short, but he ends up with: ] ...okay.
Yeah. [ He clears his throat, looking down at their hands, and when he sees them he catches the scars on Steve's body out of the corner of his eye -- scars he'd not taken the time to notice besides fleeting touches as he took the man's clothes off. ]
I feel tingly. [ He looks up again, tongue wetting his lips. ] But I guess that just comes with it, huh.
no subject
But now here he is, mesmerized by the way that Logan looks. The way he moves. The way that he can still feel him, and Steve feels so happy that his heart could burst. ]
Yeah, I think so.
[ Without letting go of his hand, he leans in again for another kiss. This time it’s slow, intimate. As if he’s savoring how he tastes. ]
Think we can cancel today’s interview and we can just stay in bed the rest of the evening?
no subject
It's hands down the sappiest thing he's ever done with another man.
When the kiss breaks he's breathless, but the smile on his face is unmistakable. This means... something, doesn't it? Kissing Steve, being with Steve, smiling at Steve -- this all means something, and Logan's biting off more than he can chew.
But instead of denying him, or telling him no, or doing what is the logically accepted thing in this situation, Logan just makes a face and admits: ] This is gonna be the first deadline I've ever missed.
[ He's not too broken up about it, though, given he's finally initiating a kiss of his own. Steve's face is warm against his palm and his lips are soft over his, and Logan needs to calm his god damn Liberace ass before he asks Steve to sleep with him again.
Pulling away, he allows a stroke with his thumb over Steve's cheek. ]
You're gonna have to carry me everywhere.
no subject
But Logan is there, and even if the touch might have been accidental, Logan doesn’t stop kissing him. He’s not disgusted by what he sees. He’s still here, and Steve is almost in disbelief over it. ]
Blame me for it, if you want. We can schedule another interview.
[ By the look on his face, it’s obvious that an interview is not what he has in mind for their next meeting. He smiles at the way his thumb brushes against his skin, and Steve pulls him close. ]
Yeah? I think I can manage that. [ He dips his head to press a kiss against his neck. ] Where do you need me to carry you to first?
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It makes his heart skip a beat, fingers curling lightly over Steve's chest as he noses quietly at the blond hair on his temple. ] ...mm.
I was thinkin' we should get cleaned up, actually.
no subject
Oh yeah? [ He presses another kiss against his skin, this time by his jaw. ] So I should stop doing this, huh?
honey honey how he thrills me uhuh honey honey
[ Except when he turns his head and finds Steve's mouth Logan doesn't find the right amount of control to pull away. He didn't earlier, when he was bothered about Peggy and wanted to make Steve want him more than he'd ever wanted her (petty, petty, petty), and he doesn't now, when he's still riding some incredible post-sex waves and Steve is smiling at him like that, holy shit (horny, horny, horny?).
It's too easy to pull Steve on top of him and mutter something stupid about how high-quality lube means Steve won't even have to prep him again, and the repeat performance that follows after is even easier. It's shorter, understandably, because they're both still sensitive from earlier, and the fact that none of them have an extra condom means Steve makes a mess of Logan's belly, but -- God, it's good.
By the end of it Logan is gasping for breath with his head pressed back to the pillow, his hips sinking lazily once his legs slip from where they'd wrapped around Steve's waist. Instead of rolling on his side again, however, he reaches up, one hand for the back of Steve's head to pull him down on top of him.
It makes the mess even messier. Logan revels in this, and kisses Steve on the lips. ] Why are you so good at this.
no subject
If anything, the way Steve kisses him is hungrily, as if desperate to feel him close again. It’s probably giving away how much he has been wanting this, but he can’t be bothered to care. He’s too focused on Logan, on how it feels to be inside of him, on the way his body feels against his, and everything else feels like details he can’t be bothered to think about.
As Logan sinks back into bed, Steve tries to catch his breath. But then there’s Logan, bringing him forward, and Steve lets out a quiet laugh as he lands on top of him. He uses his forearms to support his upper body, mainly because he doesn’t want to rest his whole weight on him, but it’s fine. He’s loving this.
At his question, he blinks in surprise. ]
You think I’m good at this? [ It’s not modesty, either. Steve is legitimately surprised by what Logan said. ] I’ve always thought I’m... well. Not the best.
no subject
Always the eager ones.
[ Not like Logan really has a boatload of experience, but college had been en eye-opening experience in his freshman year.
His thumb rubs circles into Steve's side, and the hand on his cheek gently strokes over the corner of his brow with the tip of his index finger. ]
You kiss me like you think I'm gonna leave.
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[ The admittance is said with a small smile, looking almost sheepish. He tries to hide it by leaning down to press a kiss against his shoulder, but it doesn’t change the way the back of his neck feels warmer all of a sudden. Especially when he turns to Logan and he speaks again, his voice a little softer. ]
I don’t get to do this a lot. The quiet moments, the...being with someone like this. I can’t ‘let in’ the wrong person, because of what I do, and everything else that comes with it.
[ Hell, just letting Logan rest a hand on his side is a huge thing for him. Because it’d be safer to pull away, or look for his shirt - or just stopping it altogether before it all began - but here they are. ]
I’m not trying to freak you out, and I don’t expect a commitment of any kind, so don’t think that’s where I’m going with this. But...you’re special to me. I trust you. [ A small smile crosses his lips. ] You got under my skin before I could realize what was happening.
no subject
You know, it ain't your job to be poetic. [ But he likes it, and he likes this, and it's nice to know Steve isn't thinking about it being a long-term solution in that relief-through-non-obligation sense. Logan's not going to think about what his other senses feel about it. He especially doesn't think about the part of him that's still jealous of Peggy Carter, deep down. ]
...but I get it.
[ The hand on Steve's side moves, slipping onto his back so Logan can wrap an arm around him and kiss the side of his head. ]
Feels nice to be close to people. [ Another kiss. ] But we are dating. [ Fake dating, but who's counting? ]
We just skipped a couple stages past hand-holding.
no subject
It’s nice to be close to you.
[ Steve has tried to be close to people. Half the time it doesn’t really work. That’s another reason why this feels so perfect, and he moves so he can rest his head against Logan’s shoulder. ]
Mm, I’m not complaining. [ He closes his eyes for a moment, not because he wants to sleep necessarily, but he’s just...happy. It’s nice to feel that again. ]
You’re pretty good, you know. [ Steve doesn’t look up, but the soft teasing tone is easy to distinguish. ] For a fake boyfriend and all.
no subject
He'd kiss it, but... somehow that feels more intimate than even the sex had been. ]
Guess being a boyfriend's like riding a bike. [ His arm tightens almost protectively around Steve's waist, and his fingers curl in to keep his hold steady. ]
I know I'm at least good at riding you.
[ Oh, the grin on his face is probably horrible. ]
Mm, you're gonna make me not want to move.
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A small chuckle rumbles out of his throat, shifting slightly so that he could press a kiss against Logan's chest. ]
Yeah, you are very good at that.
[ He presses another kiss against his chest, this time lingering for a moment. ]
...you say that like it's a bad thing.
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And he thinks he'll kill Steve Rogers for making his heart flutter, if he doesn't try to get him in bed again first. ]
You want me to stay? [ A beat. ] The... night, I mean.
[ He hates himself. ]
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I'd like you to stay, yes. If you don't want to, though, I'll understand.
[ He brushes his fingers along Logan's side, as if memorizing the muscles his fingertips keep smoothing over. ]
I make some pretty good pancakes, so...you know. In case that affects your decision any.
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Think that's the game changer, actually. [ It's hard to sound nonchalant. ]
Throw in bananas and I'm yours. [ Blink. ] Uh.
You know, for the night.
no subject
Shifting his position so he can lean in closer, he kisses his lips before moving back so he can rest his head against Logan’s chest again. He’d argue all day long that no, he isn’t cuddling, but...he’s just comfortable.
Yes, he’s just staying here like this because he’s comfortable. ]
Banana pancakes it is, then.